Are you a believer in numerology/astrology/psychics?

bill weiss ‏ @billweiss20 are u a believer in numerology/astrology/psychics?

ANSWER

I believe that when you walk around NYC and there’s a sign for “psychic upstairs” it’s often an invitation for paid sex.

Else, I don’t believe in psychics/astrology/numerology, although I used to be obsessed with all three as a kid.

I would get the books “Secrets of the Mystic Masters” or “Telecult Power” or “Ultra Atomic Psychic Power and How to Use It”. Why would I get those books? Only one reason.

I wanted to see girls naked. Not a single girl was even close to letting me see her naked. I had no one on my “list”. I had no girl to call and say, “let’s get together tonight”. So I figured if I had the secrets of the Mystic Masters then this would be a trivial thing to do. Because, of course, in ancient times, Mystic Masters with Ultra Atomic power had naked girls lined up and could see them anytime they wanted.

But none of it worked.

How do I know? Because nothing has worked. I’ve tried everything. I’ve been to astrologers and psychics. If your sun sign is not quite working out, throw in the moon sign, throw in where Mars is. Some combination of variables will work and then I will finally be able to predict the stock market with accuracy. Like all the other astrologers who are making billions.

But this I believe: there are psychics, and mystic masters. They are the homeless people in the street you ignored while walking home in the rain with a broken umbrella. They are people you never heard of who don’t even think about “using” any sorts of secret mysteries? How come?

They don’t care. They know there are mysteries that can’t be explained with language. And they simply don’t need to know anymore. They are already happy with the world. And us, with the rain beating down, with the umbrella flipped to the other side, with still the errands to run, and the thoughts of work bogging down our head, we are too busy to notice how happy they are. How much power they have if they only wanted to use it.

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