How many dates does it take to see if someone’s a good match?

How many dates does it take to see if someone’s a good match? –@asplenia

There’s four issues:

A) Do you like them?

B) Do they like you?

C) Are you a good match?

D) How soon is too soon to express it?

I think within two seconds you know if you are attracted to someone. And probably by the end of the first or second date you know if they like you. If you don’t know by that point then something is not quite clicking. And even if you are clicking, you might want to wait awhile before consummating. For me, if everything happens too quickly then I’m either too nervous or then I don’t trust the person (or myself).

I kissed Claudia on our second date. (See also, “How I Met Claudia“) But I was nervous. We took a long walk. Maybe a two mile walk. On mile one there was a point when we were staring out on the East River and looking at the Brooklyn Bridge. I could’ve kissed her. But I got nervous. So we walked another mile. Then we were at another point, right at the tip of Manhattan in Batter Park, looking at at…the East River again.

I was still nervous. I did what a five year old would do. I made fun of her teeth. They were a little crooked and pointy. Like a vampire’s. That made her feel self-conscious I think while I leaned in for the kiss. Then there was discussion: “why didn’t you kiss me a mile ago?” she asked. More discussion: “ok, no bed for awhile though.” She didn’t want to rush. I was fine with that. I knew I would get there eventually.

But on the second date, after that first kiss, I knew. And still do.

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