What’s the scummiest you’ve ever felt while doing business?

quasirahul ‏@quasirahul: what’s the scummiest you’ve ever felt while doing business?

ANSWER:

Ugh, he would call me at 4 in the morning. I was already paying him a 20% bribe on any business he brought me from his own company. I think it was Universal Records. Or Interscope. One of those record labels. Who cares the details. Let’s put “Interscope” in quotes so nobody sues me. But he worked there and wanted a bribe to throw me business. But that wasn’t the scummiest. That happens in the music business. That’s just money.

The scummiest thing was being his friend. He’d call me at 4 in the morning with his job problems. And I would take the call. I wanted him to like me so he’d throw me the business. I was a full service prostitute. Friendship, money, and we did a fairly decent job on his website. I say fairly decent because, to be honest, he didn’t need to be spending the money he was spending on us. The sites were okay. I didn’t like them. Ok, they sucked.

And I’d go out to LA and we’d hang out.

And when I got home I’d sit in the shower for hours. Nothing could clean me. And I’d get sick. I’d throw up. And the next day I’d go to work and be all friends again. I remember seeing a therapist about this. But she was an astrologer also and there were too many Venuses and Jupiters to keep track of. All I knew was, “I was going to be a great success” but a year or two out. I remember saying, “i don’t even know I am anymore”. Sort of like Charlie Sheen in Wall Street.

Now I know who I am. And I’m not friends with anyone I don’t want to be friends with. Rule #1 in doing business with me.

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